Did you ever wonder what life would be like if you had met that person back then, or said that thing when you’d thought of it, taken that course on that date or got on the bus there and then.
Did you ever criticise yourself for taking so long to get ‘over it’? For saying ‘that’ thing, or foolish for not realising something way back when?
Lately I’ve been exploring the notion of ‘good timing’. Can you force it or does it just happen?
I can’t seem to find any examples of ‘good timing’ that’s happened via force.
And if that’s the case, why do we spend so much time worrying and being stressed about what could or might have been, rather than embracing what is and the wealth of learning our perceived mistakes have created.
And for that matter why do we try and force ‘process’. Is it not important for things to take the required time?
I find the latter idea to be a sticking point for many people, particularly in the business context. As a consultant (when I have that hat on) I am paid to get in, create a solution and get out. But it isn’t always that easy. Without the right amount of time and opportunity to experiment, learn, connect the result is often washed out – the timing isn’t right.
A little while ago I learned to love the word flearning – learning via failure. The thing I love about this notion isn’t only that failure can be reclaimed and made into a positive experience, it’s that failure signifies that you’re out there trying and committed to the action, rather than necessarily getting it right every time.
Over the years I’ve come to believe that all of the little mistakes along the way, as painful as they may be add up to the result (yes, there are some days I choose to not like this belief but I do know it carries truth).
You know those times when things just seem to fall into place? It’s never actually because they just magically fell together at the right time in the right formation, even though it may seem that way. Actually when that happens it’s because the right amount of energy has been placed into that thing, the actions building up to the outcome have happened and the learning has taken place (even if it’s only realised in hindsight).
What I’m hinting at is that sometimes life is great, sometimes it’s not quite that but there’s beauty in all of the above. To say something has ‘good timing’ is to belittle the important hard work along the way.
Or, as my dear friend and mentor Captain David Wentworth tells me:
“the moment is always perfect, only perception is the variable”