I’ve been talking a lot about finding your mojo lately.
And with good reason. I lost mine.
Thing is, I’d actually lost my mojo quite a while ago, but it wasn’t until catastrophe struck that I noticed.
I had a choice. To lose myself to the story of the events that were happening. (And I did that for a while, it didn’t serve me particularly well.)
To create some time and space to find my mojo, connect to the things that matter and to reclaim ME.
Believe me, there’s nothing easy about the latter path. It would have been SO much easier to loll about, drink and gossip myself silly and wait for the pain train to pass.
But instead I chose to take the bull by the horns and give it a good shake down.
Ouch ! It hurt.
As each and every piece fell to the ground (oh yes, it fell, I fell) I noticed my failings as a human and for a while there each and every realisation dragged me down a little further.
But then, without warning something marvelous started to happen. I guess it was the first hints of the resurgence of my mojo. And with each day I started to notice the things that were serving that, and the things that were detracting. I made a conscious choice to hold onto what serves. More on that in a moment.
In this process I learned when feelings are involved knowing what serves me well is not always an easy thing to identify. And that’s where other people step up (if you let them) and support those decisions. Gently, with no judgement.
If you’ve known me for a while it may surprise you to discover that life came to this. (or not ! )
Truth is, as a capable and positive person it does take quite a lot to rattle me. However, sometimes being ‘capable’ is a double edged sword. Sometimes I get so lost in being capable that I forget to be human and even convince myself that I can continue without refilling my own tank. (despite the amount of times I’ve told you to do for yourself).
As I reflected on the situation I saw that it wasn’t the catastrophe that led me to this, it was my loss of ability to listen to my own ‘what matters’.
I noticed that that niggling ‘disconnected’ feeling that followed me around wasn’t going to just disappear. Being connected takes conscious effort.
And I realised that when my ‘what matters’ isn’t served, nor can I serve those around me to my full ability.
So, off on a FIND MY MOJO tour I took myself. On one hand it felt like the single most selfish thing I’d ever done, on the other, I knew that it was essential. Here are a few of the valuable lessons I learned along the way:
* First and foremost your cheer squad. Perhaps they are friends, maybe family, or maybe acquaintances you’ve met through mediums like Facebook. However they come into your realm… Love them, love them, love them. Know that there are different ways to show support, some may not be succinct with your expectations. Know that each and every interaction from a Facebook ‘like’ to a phone call or dinner is someone reaching out to you. Embrace that.
* Ask for help – most people in the population aren’t psychic and probably don’t want to pry. Tell them you need them, explain what they might be able to do to help you.
* Find a haven – A place, a space where you can scream, laugh, meditate, cry, whatever! It’s a place for you where you can feel safe and build on your strength. Visit it, move there, whatever is practical just find it.
* Do something out of the ordinary – I took up rollerderby. What might you do?
* Move your body – Any form of exercise is going to lift you up.
* Haters gonna hate – Sometimes there’s just an energy mismatch. Accept it, move forward.
* Be patient – This was one of the most difficult things for me. I like snappy change. However, I understand it’s true that the best things are worth waiting for.
So much more to share but not now…
Now is the time for gratitude,
And a stark reminder, there’s never been a better time to start being true to you
Start with these questions…
What matters most to me?
And what will I do about that?